doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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