the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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