the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
