Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
