You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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