His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
