everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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