the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
