nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
