gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
