imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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