so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
