He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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