Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Your an asshole

(1-954): View more from Florida

Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

(954): View more from Florida

My point exactly

Fav 47 3897 1089
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(916): View more from California

I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule

Fav 8 4225 810
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(206): View more from Washington

The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

(425): View more from Washington

Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

Fav 7 6152 1422
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(740): View more from Ohio

Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

Fav 12 3168 1381
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.

Fav 5 2389 1109
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay

Fav 5 1127 2196
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(775): View more from Nevada

My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case

Fav 14 1963 1037
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(214): View more from Texas

You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.

Fav 2 224 184
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(907): View more from Alaska

My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned

Fav 0 7 45
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