I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
