If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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