Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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