New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
