You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Having a random hookup so left but love u
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
