i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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