she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
