Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
