i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
