hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
