I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
