A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He felt like a one man threesome
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
