I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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