Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's blow job season.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
