I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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