Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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