But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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