i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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