I'm so fucking centered right now
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
