i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
