So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
