He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
