Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
