I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
