Im at strip club and am horny
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
