I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You may now shotgun with the bride
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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