Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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