if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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