1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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