I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
