i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
