Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
