Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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