He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Randomize
