the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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