therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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