The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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