I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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