Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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