we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
