After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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