he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize