talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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