is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
