My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
