I'm eating all of the evidence.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
